More Adventures in Dog Grooming

Today was the day that I finally screwed up the courage to once again groom those little hoodlums of dogs. Once again, we had fun adventures in dog grooming. As you can see in the before and after pictures, they really needed to be groomed. The biggest problem we have is that the little guy absolutely HATES to have his front feet touched and will turn into the Tasmanian devil when you try to trim his feet.

I am not a professional dog groomer, but decided last year that it was cost effective to do the grooming myself. After working with our dogs, I have a new respect for dog groomers. They must be saints to deal with other people's dogs. Mine are bad, I can't imagine how badly they behave with a stranger... Choosing to groom the dogs myself was not solely a price decision, but since we are on the road for so long, it is very difficult to find groomers when we need to have these little monsters trimmed. How many times do you like going to a new hair stylest? It is the same concept for the dogs, except that we have seen some really, REALLY bad work done by some groomers. The dogs can come back with nicks and cuts, which makes them feel really bad. So, I would rather be the one to give them those little nicks and cuts, at least I know I can take care of the cuts and I know where the cuts are. Some groomers would hope that you never notice the damage.

Anyway, the adventures today were fun, as usual. I decided the easiest way to wash the dogs this time was to get into the tub with them. We do not have the ability to wash the dogs in a professional tub, we have a garden tub that doubles as a dog washer. The problem is my back breaks when I try to wash the dogs. So, today, I climbed into the tub with the dogs and washed them. It wasn't so bad with the little guy, he hates the tub for washing, but if you are washing the bigger girl, he can't stay out of the tub. I don't understand this logic, he hates to be washed, but has no problems whatsoever jumping into the tub of water if he isn't being washed??? Anyway, I wash him first because he is such a wiggler. The girl just stands there looking sad, but doesn't fight. The little guy keeps jumping into the tub so he can be included in the attention... Then, once out and towel dried, they dash around the house like their tails are on fire. That lasts about half an hour, or until they are almost all dry. I don't bother using a blow dryer on them, their dashing around the house is more entertaining and a lot easier for me. I get a chance to rest up before the next step.

After they are dry, I then take one at a time into the laundry room (small enough so that if they get away, they can't go far..) where I set up two TV tables place a non-skid mat across the tables and hope for the best. The little guy was wiggle city, a few times he almost became a she.... You would think that they would stand VERY still when you are running clippers past the family jewels, but hey, he is a dog. After much fussing, I got the majority of the little guy trimmed, sans a decent job on the feet. What I have learned to do, since he stresses so much when I trim the feet, is to take scissors in the living room, and after all the commotion has died down, he falls asleep, and I quickly snip at all the loose ends that were missed in the initial trimming. Right now, he is sleeping with one eye open, he does not like the sound of scissors closing.... I can't move without him jumping like I cut him.

The little girl is much easier to groom, except when she spots birds hanging outside the window. Then, she turns into a cat and will have nothing to do with me or the clippers or scissors. I nicked my hands like there was no tomorrow trying to finish grooming her face, she was absolutely fascinated by the birds and if they flew, she jerked her head in the direction of flight. That wasn't bad enough, but I did learn what happens when you try to trim around the butt and under her tail.

For grooming the little girl's butt, I discovered that when you lift her tail to trim, she farts. Every time, really. The really bad part is that my eyes were on level with her butt, because I wanted to be sure I was grooming properly, I literally got an eyeful of fart every time I lifted that little one-inch tail of hers. Who would have thought that such a little tail would have the ability to trigger such a deadly fart. My eyes were watering by the time I finished grooming her butt. The little boy on the other hand has a clam-shell of a tail. His tail is less than an inch long, but it is so muscular that once he has it clamped over his rear, there is nothing short of a tire iron that will move the tail. So now, when his tail is up, he has a hairy bit under his tail and everything else is trimmed. Looks like he has padding under his tail. Not sure how I am going to get that hair, it has to go, perhaps I can stick a wedge between his butt and his tail so that when the tail comes down like a clam shell, I can still trim beneath... Any suggestions on how to get that tail away from his rear, would be appreciated.

The good news is that the little guy doesn't fart when you lift his tail. That is probably because you CAN'T lift his tail. As a general rule though, he doesn't fart nearly as much as the little girl does. Hey...what's that smell...oh geeze, the little girl is under my chair farting her heart out...great...gotta go before I die of asphyxiation...

Until tomorrow...